Take two or three questions to a one on one with your manager, not all of them. Start with what matters most for you now, ask what good looks like, and ask for feedback you can use. Write the answer down and say it back. End by agreeing what happens next.
| Question | Short answer |
|---|---|
| How many | Two or three, not the whole list |
| First | What matters most for you in the next [PERIOD] |
| Last | What happens next, and who does it |
15 questions you can copy
Fifteen questions for you to ask in a one on one, grouped by what you want from the talk. Use the words as they are, or change them to sound like you. Replace every [BRACKET] with a real fact.
Jump to: Your prioritiesFeedbackGrowth and your next stepWhen something is going wrongClosing the meeting
- Your top prioritiesWhat are the two or three things that matter most for me in the next [PERIOD]? If I have to choose, which comes first?
- What good looks likeOn [TASK OR PROJECT], what would a really good result look like to you? How will we both know?
- The one thing to fix firstIs there one thing I could do differently that would make the biggest difference to you or the team?
More examples, by situation
Feedback
- Ask for one thing to keep, one to changeWhat is one thing I should keep doing, and one thing I should change?
- After a projectLooking at [PROJECT], what went well from your side, and what would you have liked to see differently?
- When you got no feedbackI have not had much feedback since [DATE]. Could we agree a way for you to tell me how I am doing, maybe a few lines every [PERIOD]?
Growth and your next step
- A skill you wantI would like to get better at [SKILL]. What could I take on, or who could I learn from, in the next [PERIOD]?
- What the next role needsWhat does someone need to show to move from [MY ROLE] to [NEXT ROLE]? Where am I against that now?
- A training or courseI found [COURSE]. It would help me with [WORK TASK]. It costs [AMOUNT] and takes [TIME]. Is there a budget for it?
When something is going wrong
- A blocker you cannot clearI am blocked on [TASK] because of [REASON]. I have tried [WHAT YOU TRIED]. Could you help me with [ONE SPECIFIC THING]?
- Too much workI have [LIST OF TASKS]. I cannot do all of it by [DATE] and keep the quality up. Which one should I move or drop?
- A problem with a colleagueI need a hand with something in how [NAME] and I work together. The facts are: [FACT 1], [FACT 2]. What I would like is [ONE CLEAR REQUEST].
Closing the meeting
- Say it backHere is what I took from that: [WHAT YOU HEARD]. Have I got that right?
- Agree the next stepWhat should I do before we next meet, and what will you do? Can I send a short note to confirm?
- Ask for a regular timeCould we meet for [TWENTY OR THIRTY] minutes every [TWO WEEKS]? I will bring the topics.
Download these examples
The same text as this page, in one file, with the gaps ready to fill in. The Google Docs button asks you to make your own copy.
What to avoid
- Bringing a long list. Pick two or three and let the talk go where it needs to.
- Asking for feedback and then arguing with it. Write it down, ask one question, thank them.
- Turning the meeting into a complaint list. Say what the problem is, what you tried and what you need.
- Asking about pay in the last minute. Ask for a separate time, so there is room to talk.
- Leaving without a next step. Agree who does what, and by when.
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If the talk turns to pay
The kit has a worksheet for your case and the words for the meeting. The free guide has the short email.
Ask for a raise
Ask for a raise: make your case and know what to say next. Read the free guide first.
- Who it is for
- Employees who want to ask for more pay.
- What you give it
- Your case on one page and the email asking for a meeting.
- What you get back
- What to say, and what to send after a yes, a not now or a no.
Word files you fill in by hand.
Filled in by hand on 2 example cases before release. How we test.
What questions should I ask my manager in a one on one?
Ask what matters most for you now, what good looks like, what feedback they have for you and what help you can get. Two or three are enough.
How do I prepare for a one on one with my boss?
Write down two or three topics, one fact for each and one clear request. Bring them on one page. Say them back at the end.
How do I ask my manager for feedback?
Ask a narrow question: "What is one thing I should keep doing and one thing I should change?" A broad "how am I doing" gets a vague answer.
Questions people ask
What do I do with the [BRACKETS]?
Replace each one with a real fact. If you cannot, delete the line. Never leave a bracket in what you send.
What should I ask in a one on one with my manager?
Ask what matters most for you now, what good looks like, what feedback they have for you, and what help they can give. Two or three questions are enough.
How do I start the meeting?
Say what you want from it in one line: "I would like to cover [TWO TOPICS] today, and agree what happens next."
What if my manager cancels the one on ones?
Ask for a regular time and say why: "A short talk every [TWO WEEKS] helps me know what to focus on." If they say no, send your questions in writing.