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Managing people / How to talk to an employee about a mistake: questions and opening lines

How to talk to an employee about a mistake: questions and opening lines

Talk in private, soon, and start with the facts. Ask what happened without blame, then ask what they need to put it right.

Go to the questions

Free. Not legal or HR advice.

5 questions you can copy

Private, with the facts first. Questions that find out what happened without blame, and three opening lines: a mistake in public, work below standard and a missed deadline.

Questions about a mistake

  • What happened, in your own words?
  • What did you notice at the time?
  • What would you do differently next time?
  • What do you need in order to put it right?
  • What help do you want from me?

Three ways to open

  • I want to talk about what happened in [MEETING OR EMAIL]. First: how are you?
  • I looked at [PIECE OF WORK]. I want to show you what I saw, and hear what you think.
  • The [TASK] was due on [DATE] and it came on [DATE]. I want to understand what happened.

How to use these

  1. Do it in private. Open with one of the lines below and say the facts first.
  2. Ask the questions one at a time. Listen to the end.
  3. Agree what happens next, and write it down.

What to avoid

  • Do not bring it up again unless it happens again.
  • If someone criticised them in front of others, speak to that person separately.
  • The mistake may be serious, may break a rule or the law, may involve a complaint, or may lead to a formal warning. Check your employer's procedure and speak to HR before you meet.
  • Do not repeat the criticism in front of others. Do this in private.

Official pages. Not legal or HR advice. If a one-to-one touches a complaint, a warning, discrimination, health or a safety matter, stop, listen, say you will speak to HR and follow your employer's procedure.

UK readers: the free Acas helpline is on its contact page. US readers: see the EEOC page and your employer's HR team.

What the full kit adds

This page shows 5 of them. The kit has the rest, and the files you fill in.

The start page of the kit: One-to-one meetings
$9, one price

One-to-one meetings: agendas, questions and openers

Six agendas to fill in, 120 questions by purpose and 16 opening lines for awkward topics, with a note sheet and a follow-up message.

What is in it

  • All 120 questions in 12 groups by purpose (this page shows 5)
  • 6 agendas to fill in (Word) and a note sheet
  • 16 opening lines for awkward topics, the follow-up message and a one-page guide
  • 2 finished examples, including a one-to-one after a public mistake

$9, one price, no subscription. 30-day refund. Works with no AI.

Available tonight 30-day refund

Questions people ask

Should I talk to them in private?

Yes. Do not repeat the criticism in front of others.

What if the mistake is serious?

It may break a rule or the law, involve a complaint or lead to a formal warning. Check your employer's procedure and speak to HR before you meet. In the UK, Acas explains how employers should handle performance and conduct problems.

What do I say first?

Start with the person, then the facts: "I want to talk about what happened in [MEETING OR EMAIL]. First: how are you?"

Is this legal or HR advice?

No. It is general wording. If a conversation turns into a complaint, a warning, discrimination, health or anything formal, stop and speak to HR first. In the UK, Acas explains the steps.

More

General wording, not legal or HR advice. For anything formal, speak to HR. In the UK, Acas explains the steps. Official pages read 5 October 2026.